22 Following

Aprille Legacy

I'm a self-published author from South Australia. My first book, Soul Fire, is a YA fantasy romance.

The Last Guardian

The Last Guardian  - Eoin Colfer EDIT: 9/09/15

UUURRRGGGHHH it kills me to do this. But after re-reading the series in a linear fashion, I have to, I just... have to.
What happened? Artemis Fowl has always been a series that I enjoyed. In fact, I remember discovering the fourth book (The Opal Deception) out of the blue (I thought the series had ended) and being absolutely thrilled. This reaction to each new book carried on through my teen and then adult years.

I have to say, AF should've finished after the Time Paradox. It was the last book that really felt like the Artemis Fowl I'd grown up alongside. The Atlantis Complex was a trainwreck (I'm literally cringing as I write it, it feels so wrong to diss this series) and the Last Guardian... I just can't even. It feels so sloppy. It felt like the author's heart wasn't in it anymore, like he wasn't trying. There were some phrases that stood out to me, like he literally just couldn't give a flying fuck anymore. Examples:

Butler saying: "I am Butler. Everything I say sounds tough."

The word 'pussyfooting' being used in description - a word which I delight in assigning to things, but it felt so weird in this book that I actually stopped reading and stared at the word, wondering if I had an accidental ARC which hadn't been fixed up. It couldn't have been more glaring if the characters had started swearing.

And there was a comment which I'm unable to find, which was Mulch saying something about himself that just seemed... off. Like the author was making fun of the character. It's hard to explain. It felt very condescending and it was my first clue that the author's heart just wasn't in it anymore.

Add to that the exorbitant amount of deus ex machina, character inaccuracies (Artemis being insanely incompetent throught the ENTIRE BOOK), loose ends (where was Minerva? She doesn't even get a mention in two whole books after her adventure?) and lack of any closure (Hartemis did not happen despite everything), and I was ready to DNF, which is really sad. I loved this series.


I feel like if I start crying, I'm never going to stop. So no review just yet.